


will you stay like that?

by kangtv (galacticnik)



Category: Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Hwang Minhyun (minor) - Freeform, M/M, Park Jihoon (minor) - Freeform, Past Hwang Minhyun/Ong Seongwu, set during the summer because it's that time of year, they actually spend time at university here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-10
Updated: 2018-07-10
Packaged: 2019-06-08 02:15:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15233151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galacticnik/pseuds/kangtv
Summary: Daniel and Seongwu bond over summer classes, food, and a little bit more.





	will you stay like that?

**Author's Note:**

> title from take me higher by a.c.e. self-edited in a rush, so all spelling & grammar mistakes are on me.

Kang Daniel knows the reason why he’s taking a course during the summer semester: he’s stupid. Not _stupid_ , mind you, but the kind of stupid you’d associate with someone who slept through half of his 8 am classes and doodled his way through the ones he did show up for. In his defense, it was a geology course not strictly necessary for his major, but it is for graduation requirements.

Hence the summer course. He’s retaking it with the intent to pass this time. After that, it’s—well, it’s back to school for his final year of university, but Daniel’s still going to celebrate surviving geology as an accomplishment.

He doesn’t know the reason for Ong Seongwu taking a course during the summer. Seongwu is a casual sometime friend—sharp as a whip, handsome as hell, and Daniel’s roommate’s ex-boyfriend (not in that order). They haven’t really hung out before now, but he’s the only person on campus Daniel is familiar with, so he naturally gravitates towards him during his free time.

Over the past week, they’ve fallen into an easy pattern of grabbing food together and unwinding at the unusually empty on-campus coffeehouse after classes. Daniel appreciates the company, even if Seongwu is the last person you’d expect to see here, but—

“Math,” he says forlornly, over lunch. It’s a nice day; Seongwu insisted on sitting outside. Daniel likes the fresh air as much as anyone, but he also hates bugs, which there are a lot of out here. At least he managed to finish his food before it could get infested by ants or something. Seongwu, on the other hand, is still eating. “I failed a basic maths course in my first year and never bothered to retake it until now.”

“I thought you were a literature major?” Something involving a lot of books, anyway. Seongwu hasn’t touched any of his fries, so Daniel sneaks a couple from his plate with his best innocent expression on his face. Seongwu doesn’t even notice.

“I _am_. Stupid general requirements.” He’s a year older and should be graduating at the end of the summer, if he passes. Huffing, Seongwu pushes his plate towards Daniel, who accepts the fries happily and proceeds to drown them in ketchup. “The fuck would I _ever_ need to know math for?”

“Taxes,” Daniel supplies unhelpfully. Seongwu looks unimpressed. “Or like, if you get kidnapped and wake up in an underground bunker and the only way out is to solve all kinds of math equations—”

Seongwu stares at him. The moment is a little awkward; Daniel shoves some fries into his mouth to pretend it isn’t. “Is that some kind of video game?” Seongwu asks finally.

“Maybe?” No video game Daniel’s played, but probably.

Seongwu sighs. He has a pretty mouth, the kind you can’t help but notice, the kind you can’t help but think about. Minhyun said something about it once, and Daniel tells himself he only finds himself tracing the shape of Seongwu’s lips with his eyes on account of his roommate. “I’m shit at video games,” Seongwu says finally, and Daniel tears his gaze away. “Can’t even play Mario Kart without fucking it up.”

“That’s okay.” Everyone’s shit at Mario Kart. But Seongwu looks a mixture of annoyed and embarrassed, and in an attempt to make him feel better, he adds, “I’m shit at reading books.”

Seongwu glances over, and the light hits him _just right_ enough to make him glow. “Oh yeah?” Laughter bubbles up in his voice. “I guess that’s fair. Everyone’s got their own thing, right?” Before Daniel can agree, Seongwu abruptly leans forward and swipes his thumb over Daniel’s bottom lip. “You had some ketchup there,” he says, wiping his hands on a napkin.

Daniel blinks. “Ah.” And then—“Ah.” How mortifying. He ducks his head and frantically wipes at his mouth, cursing himself for his messy eating habits. “You could have just _told_ me.” His mouth feels hot, particularly the place where Seongwu touched him.

“I got you,” Seongwu says, eyes twinkling. The corners of his mouth lift in an easy, bright smile. It’s infectious; Daniel grins back as he reaches for another fry. His face is still uncomfortably warm and his brain is stuck on the sensation of Seongwu’s gentle touch on his lips, but—

It’s the heat. It doesn’t mean anything.

 

* * *

 

There’s an etiquette to dealing with a friend’s ex.

If you were friends with the both of them before they began dating, then you don’t owe either side anything after the break up. If you only met the ex through your friend _after_ they started dating, then you’re supposed to sever ties once the relationship is over.

At least, according to Jihoon. Daniel had a hard time believing him until he asked Minseok, who, as six whole years older than him, is the wise sage Daniel trusts to guide him through life. “It’s an accepted social norm, yes,” Minseok said. “Not sure whether loyalties matter all that much, but it certainly cuts down on the potential awkwardness.”

But Minhyun and Seongwu are different Yes, Daniel didn’t know Seongwu at all before Minhyun invited him to karaoke night a year ago, but their breakup was amicable. They’re still friends, as far as Daniel knows. So even if, technically, he shouldn’t be talking to Seongwu, he doesn’t think Minhyun would mind. He’s not petty like that.

Besides, Daniel’s not hanging out with Seongwu because he _wants_ to. There’s no one around during the summer—or, fine, plenty of people around, but no one he knows. He’s pretty sure Seongwu thinks of him in the same terms: a friend of convenience.

So there’s nothing wrong with the two of them spending time together this summer.

Right?

 

* * *

 

“Hey.” Balancing two cups of coffee on top of his notebook, Seongwu slides into the seat across from him. Daniel reaches out to grab both of them and sets the cups down safely on the table before they can have a messy and unfortunate accident. “Thanks,” Seongwu continues, gesturing for Daniel to take one. “You done class?”

“Yeah.” It’s still warm. He prefers iced coffee in weather like this, but he appreciates the gesture. Daniel holds the cup with both hands and blows gently, watching the steam waft away from him. “How’s your brain?”

“Fried. Yours?”

“Sautéed.”

Seongwu whistles. His hair is tousled, and he runs a hand through it as if to make it even messier. “Rocks got you down?” he asks, raising his cup to his lips.

“I _wish_ we were talking about rocks.” Daniel doesn’t know what’s going on in class. Today, the professor spent half an hour talking about a woman he met online and how they went on their first date last night which, frankly, sounded like it was uncomfortable as hell. All of it was described in such excruciating detail that Daniel eventually had to raise his hand and ask if this material was going to be on the final exam (it’s not).

“As _exciting_ as your prof’s love life sounds,” and Seongwu snorts, making clear what he thinks of that, “seems pretty brutal to sit through. I hope it looks up soon.”

Daniel shrugs, but says, “Thanks.” He hopes so too. It sounds more plausible coming out of Seongwu’s mouth.

The silence settles between them, only somewhat oppressive in the summer heat. Daniel’s eyelids feel heavy despite the coffee. There’s nothing better than taking a nap in the middle of a blisteringly warm day, and he’s thinking of throwing himself into his bed when Seongwu clears his throat.

“By the way,” he begins. Hesitating, Seongwu drags his nails across the cover of his notebook, eyes trained downward. “You wanna do something tonight? Together, I mean. If that wasn’t obvious.”

Daniel’s dreams of napping the day away vanish in front of his eyes. “Oh,” he says, blinking hard. They’re—well, they’re not _those_ kind of friends. Hanging out while they’re both on campus is fine, but spending time together outside of school? Feels like he’s breaking some unwritten rule there. It’s several friendship tiers higher than they’re probably at. Rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly, he casts around for an answer.

“You can say no. It’s not going to hurt my feelings,” Seongwu laughs, but he looks sort of nervous too, as if he can sense Daniel’s distress. His fingers drum on the table in a release of excess energy. “Alright, it might hurt _one_ feeling, but I’ll get over it.”

“No, I want to,” Daniel says quickly. It spills out of his mouth involuntarily. He just—he doesn’t want to see Seongwu look upset. Maybe they’re not those kind of friends, but what says they can’t be? “I was just going over my schedule to make sure it was… open…”

“Right,” Seongwu nods, letting out another small laugh. “Because you’re in high demand.”

“ _Super_ high demand,” Daniel agrees with a nod. He mentally crosses off ‘Gud Naps’ for ‘Seongwu Time’. “I can pencil you in at six for… uh, what do you want to do?”

Seongwu’s hands still. He looks uncertain. “I didn’t think that far ahead,” he admits. “Grab a few drinks? Vandalize a couple of buildings? Karaoke? What do the youth do for fun these days?”

To be honest, he doesn’t know either. It’s too hot out to do a lot of things Daniel wouldn’t mind doing with Seongwu. In a platonic way though, a completely G-rated way. Oh _man_ , he doesn’t even want to go there. Daniel grips his coffee cup with such force that some sloshes over the rim. “We could play Mario Kart?” he suggests finally, figuring that should be safe enough.

“You’re just saying that because you know I suck at it,” Seongwu says, and Daniel shakes his head vehemently in protest (though yes, a little), but in the end, Seongwu exhales and leans back in his chair, tipping his head back to the sky. “Sure, why not?”

 

* * *

 

“I get lonely easily,” Seongwu admits, knees tucked under his chin.

They’re in Daniel’s infrequently cleaned dorm room, which, thanks to the efforts of pre-vacation Minhyun and his obsessive need to tidy up, is actually neat for once. Neat-ish. Daniel _has_ been living alone here for the past two weeks. Seongwu is on Minhyun’s bed, looking completely at home. It figures; he’s been here tons of times before—and Daniel means the room, not the bed, but probably that too.

They've been playing Mario Kart for the past half hour. Seongwu was right: he _sucks_. On the bright side, his general suckitude means Rainbow Road is a blast. So far, Daniel's been riding high on his wins and barely paying attention to Seongwu's whining whenever he falls off the map.

Reaching behind him to grab a handful of chips from the bag near Seongwu's feet, he freezes at the admission, then cranes his neck around and makes eye contact with Seongwu. Accidental, but once he does, Daniel can't really look away. Seongwu's gaze is heavy, tired, his bottom lip caught between his teeth as he mashes buttons without really paying attention to the screen. He doesn't look scared or nervous, just exhausted, maybe a little apprehensive, like he's said something he shouldn't have but can't take it back

"I know I kind of forced myself here but—you know, no one else is really around," Seongwu continues after a pause, when Daniel doesn't say anything. "It's—it's weird; everyone I know went home for the summer. Even my own family members are gone right now. I feel... like I'm just _drifting_ along on my own and it's overwhelming. I want someone to hold onto before I drift away." He seems to realize how that sounds and scratches his cheek. "Not that I'm only hanging out with you because I'm lonely! I think you're pretty cool, but I just... I owed you an explanation for being pushy."

Daniel doesn’t know what to do with this information. “I get that,” he says. He doesn’t get that, but he wants to try. He's never had a problem being on his own; he probably wouldn't feel it as intensely as Seongwu does, but he can understand wanting to connect with someone. "Being alone sucks." Wincing, he searches for something clearer, more eloquent. "I mean, I don't mind. You can anchor yourself to me."

Seongwu stretches his legs out until his toes bump against Daniel's shoulder. "Hey, you sure you ready for that kind of responsibility?" he jokes, and Daniel is distracted enough trying to figure out what that might entail before he says 'yes' that he runs Luigi off-road and into lava. Cool. "But I'm—I'm glad I ran into you first day of the semester," Seongwu adds. "Otherwise, I think I would've gone mad by now. Like, _dye my hair purple, get a tongue piercing, wear denim-on-denim, adopt an alpaca_ mad."

Daniel chuckles at the visual (though he doesn't know what's wrong with denim-on-denim). He's glad he ran—literally, _ran_ and knocked onto the floor—into Seongwu that day as well. "Me too," he says fervently. "You make the summer less boring.” It's meant platonically, nothing more and nothing less.

"I sure hope I do; I'm a fucking _delight_ ," Seongwu says, digging his toes into the fabric of Daniel's shirt. He tugs at it until Daniel relents and agrees.

He starts a new game, a simpler map than the galactic monstrosity Seongwu swears is going to give him nightmares. "What were you going to do if you didn't have to take the..." Daniel waves a free hand in the air. "The math class?"

Five seconds in and Seongwu's avatar slams into a wall. He’s playing as Princess Peach. Daniel suspects he chose her by accident. “Gone to visit my sister, maybe? She lives in New York. My parents are there with her right now.” Daniel makes a consoling noise on his behalf; New York would have been a cool place to visit. "You?"

"Back to Busan with Minhyun." He throws a green shell at Seongwu, who dodges it by some stroke of luck and the fortune of Daniel’s bad aim. “I miss my mom,” he adds as an afterthought, sighing into the silence as if that could bring here.

He pretends not to notice the way Seongwu goes quiet at the mention of Minhyun's name. It's not like it's obvious; you wouldn't be able to tell if you weren't paying attention. But Seongwu's breathing stops just for a moment, his entire body stilling, before someone hits the 'play' button again and he inhales sharply. Dumb of Daniel to bring up the elephant in the room, but Seongwu's sitting on the elephant's sheets. Ignoring it is... difficult.

"Must be hard," Seongwu finally says, sympathetically. His voice is light, like he didn't just have a moment there, and Daniel wants to apologize for being insensitive but doesn't want to make the situation worse. He gets a speed boost in the game and wonders if it's possible to run away from your own stupidity that quickly.

“It’s not like I could home with these grades anyway,” he says after a while, and Seongwu breaks into laughter. Princess Peach falls off the edge of the cliff at the same time.

Sometime later, once the chips have been eaten, the beer cans have stacked up, and they've moved onto watching the highlights from the World Cup on Daniel's laptop even though Seongwu says he knows nothing about football, Daniel does something stupid. Really, truly _stupid_.

He blames it on idle curiosity and the lazy comfort he sunk into at some point over the night. Seongwu makes it easy to get to know him, or maybe Daniel’s just good at making friends. The answer probably lies somewhere in between.

They’re frozen in a series of almosts: their bodies almost pressed together, legs almost tangled, Seongwu’s hand almost resting on Daniel’s thigh. Daniel’s head almost resting on Seongwu’s shoulder, his heart almost beating fast—

And he just _asks_ because it’s been bothering him, and something in Daniel desperately needs to know the answer now before he gets too far. “Do you still like Minhyun?”

Seongwu starts like he’s been tasered. His elbow bumps against the keyboard, freezing the screen at a close up of Neymar’s distressed expression. “I—” Seongwu’s face spasms into something strange, the word dying out on his tongue. “Ask me in the morning,” he says finally, softly, and punctuates his statement with a breezy smile. But his knuckles are white where they grip the laptop, and Daniel swallows a second apology he doesn’t know how to give.

He lets Seongwu sleep over because it’s late and there’s room, technically. Seongwu takes Minhyun’s bed and turns to face the wall in his borrowed nightclothes, too rigid and still to be asleep for the longest time. Daniel finds himself staring at his back in the dark, not sure what’s looking for.

In the morning, Seongwu buys him breakfast and an iced coffee as a thanks for letting him stay over. He doesn’t get anything for himself, just hums and shakes his head when Daniel tries to split his breakfast sandwich with him. Daniel feels like it should mean something, but he can’t figure out what. Maybe it’s—anxiety, a consequence of Seongwu waiting for a repeat of The Question. Maybe it’s a silent plea for Daniel not to ask.

In the end, Daniel doesn’t ask him.

He’s not sure he wants to hear the answer.

 

* * *

 

_Don’t think about it too much._

He’s good at that: not thinking. As the sun begins to set, Daniel climbs to the roof of the building and lays down with his hands folded behind his head to admire the view. There’s something calming about watching the intense reds and yellows collide with the deep purples of the night. He likes to come up here when he has a lot on his mind, burn the picture into the back of his eyelids.

Daniel doesn’t want to think about anything else, like Seongwu or Minhyun-and-Seongwu, or the bitter taste of disappointment in his own mouth at the thought of a Seongwu still in love with Minhyun. Maybe this is why you’re not supposed to be friends with your friend’s ex. It’s confusing. He doesn’t want Seongwu to be hurting over Minhyun, but—

It’s not his problem. It’s _not_. He shouldn’t feel anything about this, much less a churning in his stomach or a tightness in his chest when he thinks about Seongwu’s expression after Daniel said Minhyun’s name.

He raises a hand to block the sun from hitting his face. Fingers splayed, he squints through them and marvels at the painted canvas of the sky. Seongwu would like the view, he decides finally. That doesn’t have anything to do with anything, but it’s a nice alternative to the fretting. Seongwu would like the view, and he hopes he can show it to him sometime.

 

* * *

 

Daniel steps foot in the university library for the third time in the entirety of his student life to look at a book (with diagrams) for his presentation. On his way out, he almost bumps into Seongwu and his tower of books.

Things have been normal between them after the Night of Mario Kart, or the Night of Daniel Shoving His Whole Foot in His Mouth, as he likes to call it. They’re both blessed with the skill of smoothing past awkward situations without much trouble. You could call it running away from your problems, but the truth is, Daniel doesn’t like upsetting people and neither does Seongwu. Armed with that understanding, they silently agree to move on.

Neither of them can afford to alienate their only summer companion. _Till final exams do them part._

Seongwu’s hair is slicked back today, exposing his forehead, and it takes a moment for Daniel to process the new look. It’s… really good. _Really_. He wishes he had a bigger vocabulary to express his appreciation for the change, but all that pops into his head is ‘sexy.’ And Daniel’s never been more glad that Seongwu isn’t a secret telepath or anything (though you never know), because he has no explanation for the immediate physical and emotional reaction to this.

Seongwu opens his mouth to say something, but Daniel beats him to the punch. “Hot date?” he asks, then immediately wishes he could take it back. He was supposed to be _careful_ about this subject, but it just slipped out of his mouth and—

Seongwu raises an eyebrow. “Trying new things,” he says blithely, shifting his weight from one foot to another. “Less people around to make fun of my fashion blunder.”

“Can’t imagine why anyone would ever make fun of you,” Daniel says sincerely. He genuinely means it; the thought of anyone feeling anything but adoration for Seongwu is baffling.

It doesn’t come out the way he wants it to. Seongwu swats at him, the beginnings of a frown creeping onto his face. “See? I’m besieged by scorn on all sides.” He sighs dramatically and sags against the wall. “Et tu, Brute?”

Sarcasm was not his intent. Daniel doesn’t even know how to be sarcastic, honestly. But he doesn’t want to tell Seongwu how seriously he meant what he said. It’s… embarrassing. Clearing his throat, he tries a more straightforward tactic. “You’re handsome.”

Seongwu’s quiet for a second. “You’re sweet,” he counters, a faint half-smile on his face. He says it like he’s surprised, gratified, and confused by it all at once. Daniel doesn’t get a chance to explore that before Seongwu’s book tower shifts and Daniel lunges forward to catch it before it can tumble to the ground. Uttering a quick thanks, Seongwu nods at the thick volume tucked under Daniel’s arm. “I see you discovered books.”

“This is for class. I would never read for fun.” Belatedly, he realizes that he’s currently helping Seongwu keep his tower of books upright, and considering that his friend is taking a math course right now, this has to be stuff he reads for fun. “Not that you shouldn’t. It’s cool that you like to read, uh,” Daniel squints at the title on the spine of the nearest book. “ _Seduction of a Scoun_ —?”

With lightning speed Daniel didn’t know Seongwu possessed, he wrenches the book from the tower and stuffs it into his bag. Daniel’s somehow able to keep the rest from spilling onto the floor once again. “Never mind that one,” Seongwu says, his ears pink. “Do you want to grab a bite to eat after I drop these off?”

“Sure.” Half of Seongwu’s pile is in Daniel’s arms anyway. He trails after him to the drop box like an obedient puppy and dumps them down the dark and carnivorous dropbox chute.

Once he’s free of his burden, Seongwu stretches his arms over his head. “You know,” he begins conversationally, letting his arms fall back down to his sides. “I guess I found myself a hot date for today after all.”

“Who— _oh_.” Oh. _Him_. Daniel’s face grows hot as he falls into step with Seongwu. “It’s not a date, though?” He’s asking, though he’s not sure why. It brings specific ideas to mind, and while he wouldn’t be opposed to any of them, it feels weird somehow. Date—not the fruit either. _Date_.

Seongwu raises a finger. “A date is defined as a romantic or social engagement,” he recites. “This is an _engagement_ , ergo, a date.” The corners of his mouth twitch.

Daniel waits for him to clarify whether it’s romantic or social, but he never does. The answer is probably obvious, but he can’t find it. Can’t figure out how to ask either. Maybe he’s looking in the wrong place, but he doesn’t know why it matters to begin with. Does he?

This might be a problem.

 

* * *

 

His brain hurts. Daniel is pretty sure between class and whatever the hell this situation is, he’s going to overheat. His life is supposed to be fairly uncomplicated: school, dance, video games, food, sleep. Daniel doesn’t have time for anything beyond that, and definitely not (heaven forbid) a crush.

If that’s what this is. Crush, capital C, on the guy who, up until five months ago, was dating his roommate. This has got to be the worst possible thing he could possibly do—and Daniel’s done some bad things.

It’s been a while since his last one; he almost forgot what it feels like. His embarrassing, all-consuming feelings for Sungwoon came on him like a tsunami; he’s pretty sure Sungwoon noticed, and in his own way, made it clear that he couldn’t return them. Daniel never resented him for it, but it didn’t feel great either. A polite cut is still a cut. It still makes you bleed. He didn’t think he’d like anyone for a while after that.

“Maybe I don’t like him,” he muses into his headset, in the middle of duo queuing with Jihoon, “Maybe I like, I _care_ about him, but I don’t like him.”

“Dude, can we just play the game?” Jihoon asks, exasperated.

“Sure.” A second later, “But really, it could just be well-intentioned friendly concern, right? I could just want to know if he’s ready to date again, not just necessarily date _me_ —”

“Why the fuck would you care about whether he’s ready to date if you don’t want to date him?” Jihoon sounds close to tears, or like he wants to choke Daniel until he stops talking about this. Daniel doesn’t blame him. They’ve been at this for an hour, circling back to the same points.

“I’m a caring guy?”

“If you were a caring guy, you w—FUCK, YOU LET ME DIE.”

Huh. He’s no longer paying attention, instead leaning back in his chair with his legs up on the desk. “I don’t know if it’s real or my brain tricked me into feeling this way,” he says. His subconscious could’ve been influenced by the movie he watched last night, _Grease_ or whatever. There was a whole song about summer lovin’. “I don’t know if I should do something about it or just ignore it and hope it goes away.”

After Jihoon screams into a pillow (it takes a while), he returns to their comms and takes a deep breath. “For the record,” he states slowly. “You are a dumbass.”

“Yeah,” Daniel agrees. “Wait, but why?”

Jihoon doesn’t respond for a while, then, “Call me when you get laid or rejected.” He cuts out after that, and Daniel stares at his screen with a pout. Both sound vaguely terrifying.

Maybe he’ll just stay quiet.

 

* * *

 

He skips class during week five.  
  
No big reason. Ennui, maybe. Frustration at not getting the material. Sheer boredom at the thought of being locked in the classroom for three hours with his professor droning on about his Tinder matches. It just seems all too much and all too pointless all at once. So he skips class and lounges in the campus coffeehouse on his phone, not really rebellious enough to stay off campus altogether.

Seongwu spots him whilst on his morning coffee run. “Aren’t you supposed to be learning about soil and stuff right now?” he asks, taking a sip of his coffee and peering down at Daniel curiously. Seongwu’s class starts in six minutes. Daniel doesn’t know why he remembers that.

“Skipping.” He lets his head fall back and hit the wall with a dull thunk! It was supposed to look cool and nonchalant, but the back of his skull just hurts instead. Wincing and rubbing the sore spot, Daniel straightens up. “I really didn’t feel like going.”

Seongwu stands there for a long moment. His hair’s back to normal, fringe falling into his eyes. He brushes it back idly and takes another sip of his coffee. Then, abruptly, “Want to go for a drive?”

“What?”

“Do you want to go for a drive?” Seongwu repeats slowly, taking his keys out of his pocket and dangling them in front of Daniel’s face.

“You have class.” Seongwu definitely has class in four minutes now.

“I don’t feel like going today either,” he shrugs. “So what do you say?”

Daniel doesn’t have to think. “Let’s go.”

Seongwu’s car is a sleek, dark model with leather seat covers. Daniel inhales as he climbs in, accidentally knocking Seongwu’s books off the seat in the process. Seongwu doesn’t seem to mind, just puts on his sunglasses and sets his coffee in the cup holder. He doesn’t tell Daniel where they’re going, but does let him choose the music and Daniel’s okay with that compromise.

He rolls the windows down and sticks his head out, letting the wind rush through his hair. Daniel can smell a hint of wetness in the air. It’s supposed to rain later today, a welcome change from the heat.

“What, are you a dog?” Seongwu laughs, when he glances over at him. Daniel lets out a couple of barks just to see him laugh harder.

After a long drive, they arrive at an outdoor cafe, an Instagram worthy spot surrounded by lush greenery and birdsong. Daniel’s enchanted until he realizes the chirps come from a noise machine, but it’s still really nice. The server leads them to a table out on the balcony and leaves them with the menu, but Seongwu doesn’t bother looking through, flagging him and giving his order like he’s been here a thousand times before. He probably has.

Daniel stumbles through his order (he’s not sure what he asked for: cake?) and leans back in his chair once that’s over with. “This place is really cool,” he says, glancing around. It’s not too busy, surprisingly enough, and he feels like a blanket of serenity just descended on the entire era. “Do you come here often?”

“Once or twice,” Seongwu says, playing with his napkin. He rips it into shreds, the pile growing larger by every second. “Or… fifty times. I dunno?” He breaks off, chuckling nervously. “I used to come here a lot my first and second year… I’d read, mostly, write a little bit. Eat my weight in baked goods. You know how it is.”

“Oh.” He feels like he should ask more, but he’s not sure what to say. “Well, thanks for bringing me here. I mean, even though the chances of me finding my way back are zero—”

“I’ll be your guide,” Seongwu says solemnly, reaching over to grasp both of Daniel’s hands in his own. They stay like that for a couple of minutes past what you might consider normal, but Seongwu’s hands are smooth and warm and Daniel feels no urge to pull away until their drinks and cakes arrive. The server raises an eyebrow as they finally do yank their hands away but says nothing.

Since Daniel apparently ordered a cheesecake, he digs in. Seongwu ordered something topped with strawberries; fitting for him, but he doesn’t take a bite, instead pushing the pastry around with his fork. Daniel eventually stops eating and looks up. “Something wrong?” he asks.

Seongwu is silent for a while, then clears his throat, fork hanging in the air. “About what you—asked me earlier,” he begins. “I don’t still have feelings for Minhyun. Obviously I care about him, but not romantically, you know?”

Daniel’s fork clatters onto the plate. “Uh,” he says, then swallows and tries again. “Uh, okay?” He’s not sure why Seongwu brought that up, but he can’t ignore the current of relief running through him. It threatens to overpower, sending him almost into hysterics. He wants to laugh but he doesn’t know why; there’s nothing _funny_ about it. Mostly, he’s just glad Minhyun isn’t making Seongwu sad, and that Seongwu is emotionally unattached.

“It’s just, I miss him,” Seongwu continues. “Being with someone in general. I miss that: the _intimacy_ of it.”

He doesn’t know how to respond to that. _You could be with me?_ That’s not an option, is it? “I… can’t really say I know what that’s like,” is what Daniel settles with eventually. He doesn’t. He’s tried, sure, but he doesn’t miss being with someone. Maybe because he’s just never been with someone in general, or been with someone who inspires that kind of feeling in him.

“I’m not hung up on him, just the idea of him, I think. I know it’s weird, but—” He breaks off and looks down. Finally, he asks, “Is he happy now?” It’s a plaintive question, almost too quiet for Daniel to hear. He doesn’t know how much he’s allowed to say about Minhyun, but settles for the bare minimum.

“He’s happy. Busan’s a good change of pace. I heard he was reconnecting with some childhood friends.” He lifts a shoulder in a half-shrug. “That’s all, really.”

“I’m glad.” Seongwu’s voice is faraway, eyes trained on something in the distance. Daniel waits for something to betray—he doesn’t know, some kind of emotion, but Seongwu just looks content, like the closure was all he was after. There’s something melancholic about his profile as well, and out here he looks _small_ —shoulders hunched, head lowered, focus on his cake as if it’s the only thing in the world.

Seongwu seems impossibly alone. Maybe letting go of Minhyun was necessary, but difficult too. _A polite cut still makes you bleed_. Daniel remembers what Seongwu said about feeling like he’s drifting, overwhelmed by life. He wonders if it’s happened before, if maybe Seongwu drifted too far once and he’s scared of it happening again. And he’s graduating soon, so it can’t be easy to feel like your whole life is coming to a kind of an end.

Daniel, frankly, doesn’t know what it feels like to deal with that kind of stress. He collects people wherever he goes, views each end as a new beginning. Not everyone is like him, though.

 _I get lonely easily,_ Seongwu’d admitted, and Daniel doesn’t want him to feel like that ever again.

“You have me for the summer,” he says quickly. _Too_ quickly, actually. He doesn’t even think it through. “If you want to be with someone—you have me.”

Seongwu freezes, a forkful of cake halfway to his mouth. He blinks, tongue darting out to whet his lips, then shakes his head. “That’s sweet,” he says. This time, the word sounds like resignation, like he’s convinced himself of something and can’t be swayed. Seongwu raises his eyes to meet and Daniel’s and smiles ruefully. “I could never do that to you.”

Daniel feels like they’ve had a different conversation than the one that actually left their mouths. He wants to say, _no, wait, what I meant was_ —but Seongwu’s finishing off the rest of his cake and taking a sip of his drink like everything is fine. “What if I wanted you to?” Daniel says finally, and yeah, what if he wants this, _has_ wanted this for a while but he’d never allowed himself to really think of it and now—

It might sound too much like pity, or Seongwu just doesn’t like him that way. Whatever it is, Seongwu exhales and stretches his legs under the table, foot bumping against Daniel’s leg before quickly being retracted. “Talk to me in September,” he says.

Daniel lets it drop after that.

 

* * *

 

Nothing changes.

It helps that Daniel didn’t quite say, _I like you_ and Seongwu didn’t respond with, _I’m sorry_. It’s harder to recover once you actually say the words out loud. This way, he can pretend that he ate too much and got dizzy in the heat or something, that he didn’t truly know what he was saying. He can blame the feelings he accidentally accumulated (the hope) on indigestion and he and Seongwu can move on and return to normal.

But what _is_ normal? Before the cafe trip, with their comfortable, casual friendliness and Daniel’s pulse racing every time Seongwu looked at him? Before the night he came over, where they were just one step up from acquaintances, just people brought together by convenience? Before the summer, when Seongwu was just Minhyun’s ex with the funny last name? What is ‘normal’ for them?

And he can’t pretend it didn’t mean something, because it did and he tried and even if it wasn’t a rejection, it sure as hell hurt like one. Daniel’s not sure how he can swallow it and act like it never happened. He’ll try. He cares about Seongwu and wouldn’t drop him as a friend because he can’t return Daniel’s confused and tangled feelings, but it’s not easy.

These things never are.

 

* * *

 

They’re supposed to meet up after Daniel’s class is over, and when he leaves the room after what equates to auditory torture, he finds Seongwu leaning against the wall, deep in conversation with a pretty girl. His stomach knots, but he says nothing until Seongwu’s finished and says goodbye. The girl throws Daniel a questioning glance as she leaves, and she really has a nice face, he thinks, somewhat unhappily.

Seongwu pats him on the back. “Judging from that expression, your professor went on a blind date again last night,” he guesses, holding back a smile.

He shakes his head. Well, yeah, but he doesn’t want to talk about that. “Who was your friend?” He’s pleased with how even it comes out, how blandly curious he sounds, like he doesn’t have a horse in the race.

Seongwu looks taken aback by the question, but recovers quickly. “She’s just someone in my class,” he says. He takes a few more steps, then stops. “She asked me out. I’m thinking of saying yes.”

Oh. Daniel thinks, _oh, hell, cool,_ before he feels hot and cold all at once, his heart feeling like it’s going to burst out of his ribcage any second and smack him in the face. Wouldn’t that be fucking hilarious, hit by your own traitorous heart? He tucks his hands in his pockets. “Do you like her?” he asks, aware the silence has stretched on too long.

“Like doesn’t have anything to do with it.” From someone else, it would’ve sounded harsh, but Seongwu’s voice is gentle, almost apologetic. He resumes walking, but Daniel falls a few steps behind, his legs not moving as fast as he’d like them to. “She has tickets to a baseball game and it sounds fun.”

“Does she know all that?”

“Summer’s almost over. I’m almost graduated. I don’t think she has any expectations.” Seongwu sounds rightfully confused. Daniel’s confused too. He never thought of himself as a jealous person, but maybe this isn’t even jealousy. It’s not piercing enough, instead making itself felt by the nagging sensation that he just wasn’t enough. He flushes when he remembers what he blurted out, and the way in which Seongwu let him down. It was easy, clean almost. Still hurts.

“Are you okay?” Seongwu’s face is suddenly close to his, and Daniel’s eyes fall upon the three moles on his cheeks. A constellation he’s always admired from afar, but never been close enough to touch.

He’s not okay. He’s _angry_ , Daniel realizes with a jolt, but if he says so he’ll have to answer why. And what does he have to be angry about, anyway? Seongwu owes him nothing. “I don’t know,” Daniel says. But he can’t be the guy Seongwu talks about this stuff with. He can’t be wholeheartedly supportive and Seongwu deserves to know why. “I think I might have offered you my heart earlier and you broke it.”

Seongwu is so surprised he almost trips and falls into Daniel. “What?” He blinks and shakes his head. “Wait, Daniel, I—” Breaking off, he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. When he opens them again, he looks more resulote. “I didn’t—I was _preserving_ it.”

“That doesn’t even make sense.” Frustration leaks into Daniel’s tone. “I just—I don’t care that you wouldn’t give me a shot. I really don’t. I just don’t want to have to pretend like it didn’t happen.”

“I’m not trying to.” Seongwu winces when he realizes how unconvincing it sounds. “Look, it’s not that I don’t like you, Daniel, or that I didn’t want to—” He flounders, searching for something else to say. “I don’t want you to do something you’ll regret later because you rushed into it now.”

“Why would I regret you?”

“No one else is around right now and I’m the only option.” Seongwu sounds bitter, underneath his measured tone. “I’ll be gone once the semester ends, and—”

“We’ll be strangers again?” Seongwu doesn’t respond to that, but Daniel gets it. This was all probably one sided from the start: the friendship, his feelings, the belief that they actually bonded over anything. Just because Seongwu’s around now doesn’t mean he’ll be around later. Daniel’s just a convenience. And even though he knew that, it just feels too real and too cruel now.

He shakes his head. There’s a _sorry_ trapped in his throat, but Daniel presses his lips together and picks up the pace. “Have fun,” he says, passing by Seongwu and making for the dorms.

Seongwu doesn’t follow.

 

* * *

 

He may have overreacted.

Jihoon doesn’t pick up his calls. Minhyun does, and listens to Daniel’s frantic recap with more patience than he probably deserves, considering he’s bringing up a crisis about Minhyun’s ex. Minhyun makes it clear he’s over Seongwu and in a happily budding relationship with his friend Jonghyun now, but Daniel still feels guilty for bringing this to him.

“I shouldn’t have flipped out,” Daniel says, playing with the threads sticking out of his blanket. “ _Man_ , I shouldn't have gotten upset or angry like that.”

“You don’t need to apologize for your feelings,” Minhyun says placatingly. His Busan dialect is creeping back into his voice and it reminds Daniel of home. “You could have handled it better, but you’re not a robot, Niel.”

“I dunno. I want to apologize, but it’s pretty obvious Seongwu’s here for a good time, not a long time, you feel?”

Minhyun’s quiet for a while. Daniel pulls on a thread and unravels the top part of his blanket before dropping it in surprise. “Seongwu’s _weird_ ,” Minhyun says finally. “He’s so afraid of getting hurt that he hurts people first. I don’t believe he does it on purpose, but he’ll push you away before you can do it to him, then hold onto you with a death grip after.” He sighs heavily. “He’s the one who broke up with me, but he’s also the one who drunk-dialed me last month and left me a voicemail about how he misses being with me.”

“I…” Daniel doesn’t get it. It’s too far from his own philosophy to make sense. Don’t you just hurt _yourself_ that way? Is this how Seongwu got lonely? Seems like a pretty shitty way to live.  
  
“It doesn’t make him a bad person, but you’ll just have to try a little harder if you want to pursue this,” Minhyun continues. “You’re not good at being patient, Niel, but you’ll need to be for him.”

He really doesn’t know what to say. “I can be patient.” Wrong thing. Minhyun breaks into laughter on the other end, but before he can say anything else, there’s a knock on Daniel’s door. He mutters a quick goodbye and promises to talk to Minhyun later before tossing his phone on the bed and making for the door.

Seongwu stands on the other side, hands shoved in the pockets of his jeans. His leather jacket is zipped up to his neck, hair slicked back once more. “Hi,” he says, lifting his head as Daniel opens the door. “Can I—can we talk?”

It would be an understatement to say he didn’t expect to find Ong Seongwu waiting for him in the dingy hallway of his dorm building. “Aren’t you supposed to be at a baseball game?” Daniel asks. He’s pretty sure that date was tonight. Seongwu wouldn’t look so nice if it hadn’t been. Even though he’s supposed to be upset-slash-angry, his chest still feels hot at the sight. He looks good.

“Uh, yeah. I was. I think it’s probably over by now?” Seongwu scratches along his jaw. “I realized I didn’t know the first thing about baseball.”  
  
Daniel isn’t surprised to hear that. It takes him a moment to contemplate before stepping back and allowing Seongwu to enter the room. The door clicks shut behind him, and Seongwu looks around nervously before leaning against Daniel’s desk. Daniel remains standing too; the ire he felt earlier in the day has been replaced with faint embarrassment. He’s not the type to hold onto his anger, and he just wants to apologize for being a dick now, but his mouth doesn’t seem to want to cooperate.

“So why did you really leave?” Daniel asks, crossing his arms over his chest. “You knew the game was going to suck, right?”

“I had _faith_ ,” Seongwu huffs, the ghost of a smile dancing on his lips. “But I just…” He trails off, looking contemplative. “I got bored there,” he says. “I just, Daniel, I was so bored.” He sounds like he’s going to laugh or cry or both. Pulling his hands out of his pockets, he runs them through his hair, ruining his hairdo. “Worse, I was in a stadium full of hundreds of people and all I could think of was how I’d rather be _here_ in your shitty dorm room playing Mario Kart.”

He’s not sure what to say about that. “You’re that desperate to lose?” he asks finally, his impassive expression finally cracking into a smile. But Seongwu doesn’t return it, instead fixing Daniel with an intensely charged gaze. His own smile slowly slips off his face.

“I’ve been thinking and you’re right. I’m a fucking dick. I don’t get to decide what you should or shouldn’t do. I don’t get to decide what you’ll regret.” He swallows. “You deserve more than a half-hearted put-off, so here goes.”

Daniel finds himself holding his breath, not sure if he’s really hearing what he thinks he’s hearing.

“I don’t know if you’re looking to pass the time or something more,” Seongwu continues, his face pale. “I don’t know whether you genuinely like me or it’s just something about the summer air, but all I know is that I want to be around you.” He shakes his head. “I don’t know if I can promise you more than that, but if you’ll have me, I just want to spend my summer with you—”

Daniel kisses Seongwu, cutting him off. The taste of blood from when he’d bit his lip in anticipation mixes with the salty tang of Seongwu’s lips. It’s not a glamorous kiss; they’re clumsy, a mess of limbs and desire. Seongwu knocks Daniel’s stapler off the desk and Daniel nearly trips over a pile of dirty clothes, but Seongwu’s mouth is hot and insistent against his, and Daniel’s brain short circuits when Seongwu’s hands slip under the waistband of his shorts.

They fall into Daniel’s bed, clothes tossed to the side, the stupid stray thread tangling up in Seongwu’s hair. He _laughs_ in between kisses, in between the wandering hands and low moans. And Daniel _loves_ it—loves the sound of it, loves the look of it, loves the way Seongwu’s blushes start around his neck and work their way up. Like the kiss, they’re a bit too desperate and and excited for it to be gentle or slow, but they make up for it in passion.

Afterwards, Seongwu rolls until he face is pressed against the wall. “I didn’t think I’d spent tonight like this.” His voice is muffled, slightly slurred. “I shouldn’t have—” Daniel stares at the imprint of his hand still on Seongwu’s skin and swallows. The lump in his throat sticks; he feels like he’s waiting to hear the word ‘mistake,’ even though nothing about it feels like a mistake. It feels good. _Right_. His skin still buzzes with residual energy and he feels like he could take on the fucking world.

“I hate this room,” Seongwu continues finally. “It’s a mess and your bed is too small.” He turns around, eyes soft. “Next time, come over to my place.”

_Next time._

His mouth stretches into a wide grin. He’s never been to Seongwu’s place before, just knows that it exists somewhere out there. “I’ll bring Mario Kart,” Daniel says, and Seongwu laughs and presses a kiss to his shoulder.

“I think I’m getting better.”

“You’re not, but that’s okay. I like you anyway.” Seongwu buries his nose in Daniel’s neck and exhales. His breath _tickles_ ; Daniel squirms, but pulls him closer instead of pushing him away. He’s clingy, apparently, and loud. Daniel feels like he’s discovering a lot of things about himself. “I like you,” he says finally, against Seongwu’s chest, the way he’s wanted to say all along.

Seongwu winds his hands through Daniel’s hair, then stops and untangles himself from Daniel and props himself up on one elbow. “I used to think being with someone just meant not being lonely, but being with you is more than that.” He looks faintly embarrassed by all this. “I guess—I like you? I think I—I know I do.”

“That’s so half-hearted,” Daniel snorts.

“I’m still figuring it out.”

“Will you like me after the summer’s over?” he asks, hopefully, looking at Seongwu with wide eyes.

“Ask me in September,” he says, but his kiss feels like a _yes_.

 

* * *

 

It’s not like a quick fuck fixes everything. People who believe that are just _strange_ **.** There’s still class to deal with, still a whole week until the semester ends. After that, final exams and graduation and the end of something but the beginning of something else. Daniel may not be good at being patient, but he sticks it out and so does Seongwu. He’s too stubborn to be pushed away, and when Seongwu tries, Daniel holds firm. It’s his only special skill, but it’s enough.

September first, he tells him, “Seongwu, I still like you.”

And Seongwu laughs, head thrown back, before pulling him for a kiss. “I still like you too.”

 

* * *

 

**+ _ONE YEAR LATER ..._ **

“I can’t believe you wore a tie,” Seongwu says. sounding shocked. “I can’t believe you wore _that_ tie.”

Daniel frowns. “It’s going to be hidden,” he says, lifting it close to his face. The gown’s going to end up covering it anyway.

“You’re graduating.”

“ _You_ gave this to me!”

“Here.” Seongwu unravels his own tie and drapes it over his arm before undoing Daniel’s. His tie goes around Daniel’s neck, a classy and refined red with pale grey stripes. The sushi patterned one Daniel had unearthed from the depths of his closet is knotted around Seongwu’s neck. “Now it looks okay enough for, oh, _one of the biggest days of your life._ ”

“I think there are better days to come,” Daniel says. He hasn’t really celebrated enough firsts with Seongwu for this to be one of the biggest days of his life. He rejects that idea. “You look cute, by the way,” he adds, flicking the sushi tie marring Seongwu’s otherwise put-together business attire.

Seongwu shoves his hand away and rolls his eyes. “Shut up,” he says affectionately. “You’re insufferable.”

“You love me.”

There’s a half-smile on his face as he presses a kiss to the side of Daniel’s mouth. “I guess I really do,” Seongwu says, sounding faintly surprised, but Daniel’s not.

From the first time he kissed Seongwu, part of him knew they'd end up like this. 

**Author's Note:**

> sort of inspired by my boring summer classes (i'm a seongwu, but i didn't have a daniel of my own, rip). i sort of wrote this really quickly after a long time of not really doing anything at all, and despite the grief it gave me, it was fun! summer lovin' is always a blast. 
> 
> anyways!! as always, thank you for reading! 


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